I cannot believe it has been so long since I wrote in my own blog. For some reason, I have not written in my own journals either. That sometimes means one is hiding from something, or perhaps even hiding from themselves. I am not certain how this relates to me, but I am going to figure it out.
I am calling this blog “GROWTH”.
I was speaking to a friend via BBM text this morning, and our banter back and forth was exactly about this. Now, this friend is highly successful, publicly recognized for that success, and has had a life full of checks in the ‘win’ box. One thing struck me when speaking though. They are in a need to ‘grow’. I began to think about my own life. Specifically the last year, and I certainly know that I have grown. I have been challenged, I have been tested, and all has resulted in growth. I am on Twitter and Facebook, and in paying attention to everyone from a well-known person that has fame, to a philanthropist, to the modern college student, a mother, a father, an aspiring artist, a banker, a teacher; I noticed one common theme in the communication shared with one another; that is encouragement to grow. Encouragement beyond restriction. Wanting to help one another.
I have been the victim of internet gossip, or internet rumor mill. It can be vicious and just plain mean. I find that in communicating through social networking, like anything else, has good intended counter-balance to the reprehensible and immoral commentary that seems to draw large volumes of traffic and attention. Each morning, I am flooded with vast amounts of posts and Tweets full of love, light, encouragement, and motivation. People encouraging each other to move forward, live, learn, and ‘grow’.
If you study psychology, you will learn that much of what you put out is actually how you feel about yourself, or about your current life situation. Hence, all you can say about this is that if someone is being harmful, or even evil in his or her behavior towards you, even and mostly if you have never met the person before, it is likely that it is only a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I am not an expert. I am certainly not preaching any of this as fact. I am just saying there seems to be trends here that do also seem to be validated by psychological study. I say all this only to say, that when you are down, when you are confused, this is always, and always a time to grow.
My Father passed away just two weeks ago. He had been ill most of this year, and was deteriorating rapidly the past few months. It was sad to witness. Sad to know that he was out of the person he truly was, and unable to control the inevitable last phase of life - - - death. He had such peace in his final months. He knew he was dying, and there was beauty in him finding that place in life where he was content. For me, this was gratifying, because it showed me that it is never to late to grow. To learn. For beauty.
We did not have a large funeral at his request, as he was cremated. Only a small Memorial for his immediate family and friends. It was at my Father’s house that my cousin, Bonnie, asked me about this blog. She had loved the first entry so much because she too had visited my maternal grandmother’s farm with my mother and I when she was young. She remembered my Irish-American grandmother caring for her cold, and how different her large farm was in comparison to our urban life in Washington, D.C. and Maryland. Bonnie and I laughed as she reminded me of our trip. She was a few years older than me, so her details were much more vivid than mine, and I appreciated her memory for the both of us. Bonnie encouraged me to write another blog soon, and in fact, showed me articles her daughter had cut out on me that I had even forgotten about myself. She reminded me how much I love writing, and she didn’t even do it intentionally.
All year, I had been putting off a writing retreat to work on my novel and screenplay. I had been accepted into a retreat on Whidbey Island, Washington called HEDGEBROOK. It is a retreat on a farm off the coast of Washington State that was founded in 1988. It is set right off the beach, in lush green pastures that are surrounded by evergreen forests, dairy farms, and orchards of apples, Asian pears, raspberries, and wild flowers. It is a most idyllic setting for finding peace and tranquility. Finding the mind for creative inspiration. Suddenly, it hit me. I was supposed to now not put off my acceptance into this prestigious group of women that have called Hedgebrook home. I was not to delay myself the opportunity to grow. It was then that I called the Residency Director, Vito, from Washington, D.C. I said, “Vito, hi, it is Lisa Ellis”. Vito replied with sentiments about my Father, and excitement that I thought this was the best time of any to come to Hedgebrook, and like that, I booked a ticket to leave the next week.
I have been here in Hedgebrook for three days now, and I know it is exactly what I needed to initiate another phase of growth. I made the time to come. I made the time to write. I made the time to share with the other women writers from around the world (there is one in residency here from Australia, and another from Palestine), and to share with women of extraordinary experiences and backgrounds (one woman is among the 1% of women construction and electrician laborers in the United States, and writes articles and poetry in protest of the sexism and racism in the labor unions, another a well known published author of fiction). It has been inspiring. It is here I decided to also, and finally, enroll in a program I had been accepted to at an Ivy League university. All of this, really, for myself. All because I always wanted to do it to grow, but always found a reason to not ‘grow’.
The world is ever changing. Ever evolving. You should also. Whether your goals are small personal goals that I have recently decided to finally grasp, or larger life changing goals, business ventures that have been dreams, or even a goal that has a long term impact on your happiness; you must begin in order to make that ‘growth’.
“If you want to change a situation, or change the world, first try to improve and bring about change within yourself. That will help change your life and the lives of your family. From there it just gets bigger and bigger. Everything we do has some effect. Some impact” – Dalai Lama
GROW
Lisa
TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2009"NEW"
Today marks an extrodinary day in history. It has been said millions of times today.
This day will define more than just the future of The United States of America, but define all of our lives no matter who we are.
I was born and raised just miles from the Capitol steps today. A building I took for granted that I got to see every week for the first 22 years of my life on earth. Today was beyond special to me like most Americans and the extended citizens of the world. The day made me realize the impact of the NEW President of the United Stayes of America; Barack H. Obama.
I arrived to Orange Gate Section 16 at 7am. I was lucky enough to have a seat. Millions joined me on my early journey just a day after the Martin Luther King, Jr Holiday. You did not have to be physically there to have taken this NEW journey today. It is as if we all knew our lives changed today. The NEW feeling came over me.
I did not feel the below freezing temperatures. I remember every detail of the neighbors I shared this day with upon Capitol Hill. It did not matter that there was no possible way to get back to my hotel other than to walk, or that all of us would be sitting there for hours tested by the elements.
Young, old. Black, White, Asian, or Hispanic. It did not matter. Famous actors, Musicians, waitresses, labors, and attornies. Everyone was the same. Equal. That alone seemed NEW.
Isn't that what we have been reaching for?
It is a time to celebrate the NEW. It is also a time to reflect on our own lives and how we can make this NEW world "work" as our 44th President has pointed out.
I love the NEW feeling I have today during a time of transition and challenges for most. If these challanges did not exist, would Barack Obama have been sworn in today? Would the world believe it is finally time for the NEW? Perhaps not. This is why times of hardship always produce a NEW perspective.
I hope you all gained the experience that I did over the past 24 hours. We really are NEW.
This day will define more than just the future of The United States of America, but define all of our lives no matter who we are.
I was born and raised just miles from the Capitol steps today. A building I took for granted that I got to see every week for the first 22 years of my life on earth. Today was beyond special to me like most Americans and the extended citizens of the world. The day made me realize the impact of the NEW President of the United Stayes of America; Barack H. Obama.
I arrived to Orange Gate Section 16 at 7am. I was lucky enough to have a seat. Millions joined me on my early journey just a day after the Martin Luther King, Jr Holiday. You did not have to be physically there to have taken this NEW journey today. It is as if we all knew our lives changed today. The NEW feeling came over me.
I did not feel the below freezing temperatures. I remember every detail of the neighbors I shared this day with upon Capitol Hill. It did not matter that there was no possible way to get back to my hotel other than to walk, or that all of us would be sitting there for hours tested by the elements.
Young, old. Black, White, Asian, or Hispanic. It did not matter. Famous actors, Musicians, waitresses, labors, and attornies. Everyone was the same. Equal. That alone seemed NEW.
Isn't that what we have been reaching for?
It is a time to celebrate the NEW. It is also a time to reflect on our own lives and how we can make this NEW world "work" as our 44th President has pointed out.
I love the NEW feeling I have today during a time of transition and challenges for most. If these challanges did not exist, would Barack Obama have been sworn in today? Would the world believe it is finally time for the NEW? Perhaps not. This is why times of hardship always produce a NEW perspective.
I hope you all gained the experience that I did over the past 24 hours. We really are NEW.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16,2008VOTE
This year has been one around the world that the right to be heard has been more prominent than in recent decades. Presidential elections and attempted couts have been the front page news on every continent and are in many ways sharing the common persons need to be heard and equal rights for all.
Seem cliché? Or does it seem like a time in history that we read about and learn in school? Whether it is right here in the United States, with one of the most tumultuous, but exciting primary seasons remembered in electoral history; or if it is the radical elections in Zimbabwe or Pakistan, people want to be heard, they want their opinion to count.
This needs to be heard. The need to have a voice can be translated into any life situation. It seems as if during a time of global economic issues it is exaggerated for those without resources or for those that are disadvantaged. I am likely not telling you anything you do not already know, but more people everyday become faceless statistics that are part of studies and reports.
I recently got a dose of this myself. I own a home on Long Island, New York. My homeowner’s policy was not renewed because the company felt I was in a “risk area”. Firstly, I was astounded by the news considering that I had been of the up most status with the company, and had never even filed a claim on any of the four policies I had with them for many years; but mostly I was offended by the “form letter” I received from the corporate offices notifying me of the “non renewal status” with no reason stated. Global Warming has caused many natural disasters, hurricanes, and tornados, and after a very angry note to the company’s CEO, I finally was told this was the reason.
Now, I certainly am blessed enough in life to be able to immediately get another policy, but that is not the point. This company could really have left me out there with no options. In the wake of Katrina, and now Ike in Texas, many people will be left with no support from exactly who is supposed to be there for them. My dear friend Wyclef Jean is in Haiti now for a relief effort for his native land. Many are left stranded with no government or assistance from anyone. You can say this about many industries, and countries on a global basis. It is not exclusive to any country or any insurance company now. It is a shame, much like Wall Street however, that these big insurance companies have CEOs that are not taking cuts in wages or bonuses what so ever. The CEO of my insurance company for example makes over $20M in salaries and bonuses per year. However, his company is canceling policies to eliminate the company’s risk. Is that what insurance is? Risk?
In any case, my point is that you need a voice. You need to be heard. Whether it is the election on November 4th here in the United States, or your insurance policy being unjustly cancelled for no reason. Participate in what is your life. Stand up. Be heard. VOTE!
Seem cliché? Or does it seem like a time in history that we read about and learn in school? Whether it is right here in the United States, with one of the most tumultuous, but exciting primary seasons remembered in electoral history; or if it is the radical elections in Zimbabwe or Pakistan, people want to be heard, they want their opinion to count.
This needs to be heard. The need to have a voice can be translated into any life situation. It seems as if during a time of global economic issues it is exaggerated for those without resources or for those that are disadvantaged. I am likely not telling you anything you do not already know, but more people everyday become faceless statistics that are part of studies and reports.
I recently got a dose of this myself. I own a home on Long Island, New York. My homeowner’s policy was not renewed because the company felt I was in a “risk area”. Firstly, I was astounded by the news considering that I had been of the up most status with the company, and had never even filed a claim on any of the four policies I had with them for many years; but mostly I was offended by the “form letter” I received from the corporate offices notifying me of the “non renewal status” with no reason stated. Global Warming has caused many natural disasters, hurricanes, and tornados, and after a very angry note to the company’s CEO, I finally was told this was the reason.
Now, I certainly am blessed enough in life to be able to immediately get another policy, but that is not the point. This company could really have left me out there with no options. In the wake of Katrina, and now Ike in Texas, many people will be left with no support from exactly who is supposed to be there for them. My dear friend Wyclef Jean is in Haiti now for a relief effort for his native land. Many are left stranded with no government or assistance from anyone. You can say this about many industries, and countries on a global basis. It is not exclusive to any country or any insurance company now. It is a shame, much like Wall Street however, that these big insurance companies have CEOs that are not taking cuts in wages or bonuses what so ever. The CEO of my insurance company for example makes over $20M in salaries and bonuses per year. However, his company is canceling policies to eliminate the company’s risk. Is that what insurance is? Risk?
In any case, my point is that you need a voice. You need to be heard. Whether it is the election on November 4th here in the United States, or your insurance policy being unjustly cancelled for no reason. Participate in what is your life. Stand up. Be heard. VOTE!
MONDAY, JANUARY 28, 2008New Blog Entry
I wrote my first blog entry about a year ago for BOX 388,and had so many drafts of those to follow it. The funny thing is that I received so many notes each weekresponding to it that I always felt it was premature to take it down. So days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. It is now the beginning of a New Year, and even though I still have the nicest notes each day responding to the them of communication in that first entry, I feel it is just necessary to move on as many would say.
Life is the greatest gift, and over the past month I have had several friends lose important people in their lives. Most notely is a dear friend that has lost their first born during child birth. It reminds you, especially during the month of December and the holiday season that more to life than the silly and unnecessary things we get obsessed with. If you are dark, then light will not shine on your life. You must pick up and move on. Happiness is a decision. So I invite you all into the light of happiness and ask you to choose the good things, even if some days you struggle to just come up with one, to focus on.
Today I am at the Sundance Film Festival. If you are ever lucky enough to attendsuch an event, please take advantage. It is my 8th year attending. Some years I am working with artists performing at various studio parties or corporate sponsored events, I have also come just to vacationand enjoy some skiing with a movie slide in here and there. This year it is a combination of the two.
Today I awakened to a new blanket of snow. It reminded me of how lucky and blessedmy life is. However, you have torecognize these things and not take them for granted. This is where light shines down and you decide if things arebad or good. I could sit around in my room and worry about the various disasters that are occurring with many of my friends, how I am going to get a long list of impossible tasks done, and most immediate, how I am going to get to my first appointment that is on MainStreet in Park City through a new batch of snow in the next 30 minutes. I decided that the universe wanted me to slow down and enjoy the beauty in front of me, not get stressed out, and put myself in a different frame of mind to tackle the many issues at hand (both serious and not serious).
As I went out in the freezing cold to catch a taxi or shuttle into town with my laptop. I decided I would begin to walk. It was freezing, and perhaps I would regret my spontaneous decision to be engulfed in being moved by a higher being, but for the meantime it was a delightful and peaceful journey. It made me realize (really I am not trying to be corney here) that you never stop to really think, ponder, examine, and enjoy. Life is what you make it. It really is! This is not a cliché'. I decided at that moment that I was going to have the most productiveday, right here in Park City, but also find balance in it. You never know what life is going to deliver you. You never know what it may through in your path. If you are not emotionally prepared to accept it, you can get kicked around by your own inability to see the good in everything.
Life is the greatest gift, and over the past month I have had several friends lose important people in their lives. Most notely is a dear friend that has lost their first born during child birth. It reminds you, especially during the month of December and the holiday season that more to life than the silly and unnecessary things we get obsessed with. If you are dark, then light will not shine on your life. You must pick up and move on. Happiness is a decision. So I invite you all into the light of happiness and ask you to choose the good things, even if some days you struggle to just come up with one, to focus on.
Today I am at the Sundance Film Festival. If you are ever lucky enough to attendsuch an event, please take advantage. It is my 8th year attending. Some years I am working with artists performing at various studio parties or corporate sponsored events, I have also come just to vacationand enjoy some skiing with a movie slide in here and there. This year it is a combination of the two.
Today I awakened to a new blanket of snow. It reminded me of how lucky and blessedmy life is. However, you have torecognize these things and not take them for granted. This is where light shines down and you decide if things arebad or good. I could sit around in my room and worry about the various disasters that are occurring with many of my friends, how I am going to get a long list of impossible tasks done, and most immediate, how I am going to get to my first appointment that is on MainStreet in Park City through a new batch of snow in the next 30 minutes. I decided that the universe wanted me to slow down and enjoy the beauty in front of me, not get stressed out, and put myself in a different frame of mind to tackle the many issues at hand (both serious and not serious).
As I went out in the freezing cold to catch a taxi or shuttle into town with my laptop. I decided I would begin to walk. It was freezing, and perhaps I would regret my spontaneous decision to be engulfed in being moved by a higher being, but for the meantime it was a delightful and peaceful journey. It made me realize (really I am not trying to be corney here) that you never stop to really think, ponder, examine, and enjoy. Life is what you make it. It really is! This is not a cliché'. I decided at that moment that I was going to have the most productiveday, right here in Park City, but also find balance in it. You never know what life is going to deliver you. You never know what it may through in your path. If you are not emotionally prepared to accept it, you can get kicked around by your own inability to see the good in everything.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2007"HOME"
BOX 388 was the post mailbox at my late grandmother's house in Western Pennsylvania. I used tospend each morning during the summers, while staying with her, waiting for the postman to drive upwith the mail. You see, in rural towns, many of the roads just simply do not have names. Mygrandmother's road was simply called RD 1, and it wasn't exactly in the town. It was about 3 milesoutside the town. To locals, they knew it as 'the Game School' Road because the Pennsylvania GameCommission had a training facility about 12 miles 'down the road'.
Imagine a beautiful quite country road with virtually no traffic. Literally about 10 cars would pass inwhat seem the entire day. The scent of lilac bushes and wild flowers in the air. There always seemedto be a soft breeze at that time of day (usually around 11a). On that country road, you could seenearly a half mile in either direction. An approaching car could be heard before seen..... probably aquarter mile before in site.
In the summers since my birth my parents would take a well needed and deserved break from mybrother and I. We would visit my maternal grandmother during that time. She lived in a farmhouseon what was a farm placed on 97 acres in Pennsylvania. When I was very young it was stillfunctioning as a farm with a barn, hen house, crops and the such. My mother and my grandmotherboth were born and raised in that house. It had so much history in it. I loved staying there becauseit seemed so much like the true definition of home. At that stage in my life (not even 10 years old), Ireally only had known two homes. My real home in Columbia, Maryland, where I lived with myparents and my brother, and this farmhouse that my mother grew up in. Indeed, we had all kinds ofextended family, and had lived in an apartment in Washington, D.C. before moving into the suburbsof Maryland, but these two homes were where I had memories, and history of my own as a person.My grandmother's house was my favorite place on earth. I used to cry when I had to leave.
Each day, during our summer visits I would look forward to mail from my pen pals, schoolmates, andthe colorful postcards from my mother or father. My parents divorced when I was ten years old, butthe tradition of staying with my grandmother, and my parents each sending postcards from theirtravels continued from the many destinations they chose to escape to! It is funny, I never wanted togo on these trips with them. I loved the summers with my brother and grandmother so much, it hadbecome understood that was just what we all did for several weeks in July every year until I was ayoung adult.
One of my favorite summers of receiving mail was one in which my mother traveled across countryon motorcycle, camping along the route. Almost every other day the postman delivered photos andcards of old american western towns like Dodge City, Kansas; Indian reservations in Wyoming andOklahoma; and swinging hotels in Las Vegas (obviously that was not the camping portion of the trip)!
My imagination ran away with me in each card. I envisioned visiting each destination. That was thesummer I truly fell in love with a "letter". I loved corresponding! I also had a few pen pal friends Ihad met in girls clubs and camp also. One in Champagne, Illinois and another in Oklahoma City. Idreamed of traveling not only to these places to visit my "friends", but also had decided then that Iwanted to see the world! I wrote a letter to Amy Carter (President Jimmy Carter's daughter) at theWhite House. I wanted to let her know that I, too, loved my cat, and his name was "Sugarfoot". Shedid in fact (or her people did), send a returned postcard with a thank you note. I was thrilled!!! Shedid not sign it herself, but I didn't care. I received a postcard from the WHITE HOUSE!!!!
What this did teach me is that it is appropriate to write a stranger as long as you clearly explainyourself and respect the individual you are encouraging to respond. Later in college, I encouragedmy friends to always write letters in protest or to articulate their dissatisfaction in an issue on campus(as long as you are always respectful and articulate). I sent letters to my Council Member here inNew York City about noise pollution in my neighborhood (he and his staff responded expeditiously)!!!Letters give you a voice! And I discovered that summer that I loved hearing the voices of my parentsand my friends even more! I sat on the front porch or in my grandmothers "front parlor" reading andwriting many of my days! Waiting for the postman! I lived and dreamed through that postbox....BOX 388 on the Game School Road!
So, in honor of it, I invite you to feel at "home" here and communicate with me through BOX 388. Wewill dream, communicate, share, and imagine. Build each other up and develop who we are asindividuals. We can not achieve anything until we know and love ourselves. Find what it is we want tobe. Embrace our need to evolve and welcome our imperfections!
We are in a digital world now, but letters still carry that same important part of communicating andsharing with one another (even on the net). So, in my first letter to "you", and "you" may be mymentees at Washington-Irving High School in New York City, a classmate, a student that reaches outto me from the fine universities in the United States and Europe, or just simply a young personseeking advice in life or business. I invite you to not only talk to me, but with each other. Share yourdifferences, views, culture and experiences for other women, girls, and people like you.
I look forward to meeting you.
Lisa Ellis
Imagine a beautiful quite country road with virtually no traffic. Literally about 10 cars would pass inwhat seem the entire day. The scent of lilac bushes and wild flowers in the air. There always seemedto be a soft breeze at that time of day (usually around 11a). On that country road, you could seenearly a half mile in either direction. An approaching car could be heard before seen..... probably aquarter mile before in site.
In the summers since my birth my parents would take a well needed and deserved break from mybrother and I. We would visit my maternal grandmother during that time. She lived in a farmhouseon what was a farm placed on 97 acres in Pennsylvania. When I was very young it was stillfunctioning as a farm with a barn, hen house, crops and the such. My mother and my grandmotherboth were born and raised in that house. It had so much history in it. I loved staying there becauseit seemed so much like the true definition of home. At that stage in my life (not even 10 years old), Ireally only had known two homes. My real home in Columbia, Maryland, where I lived with myparents and my brother, and this farmhouse that my mother grew up in. Indeed, we had all kinds ofextended family, and had lived in an apartment in Washington, D.C. before moving into the suburbsof Maryland, but these two homes were where I had memories, and history of my own as a person.My grandmother's house was my favorite place on earth. I used to cry when I had to leave.
Each day, during our summer visits I would look forward to mail from my pen pals, schoolmates, andthe colorful postcards from my mother or father. My parents divorced when I was ten years old, butthe tradition of staying with my grandmother, and my parents each sending postcards from theirtravels continued from the many destinations they chose to escape to! It is funny, I never wanted togo on these trips with them. I loved the summers with my brother and grandmother so much, it hadbecome understood that was just what we all did for several weeks in July every year until I was ayoung adult.
One of my favorite summers of receiving mail was one in which my mother traveled across countryon motorcycle, camping along the route. Almost every other day the postman delivered photos andcards of old american western towns like Dodge City, Kansas; Indian reservations in Wyoming andOklahoma; and swinging hotels in Las Vegas (obviously that was not the camping portion of the trip)!
My imagination ran away with me in each card. I envisioned visiting each destination. That was thesummer I truly fell in love with a "letter". I loved corresponding! I also had a few pen pal friends Ihad met in girls clubs and camp also. One in Champagne, Illinois and another in Oklahoma City. Idreamed of traveling not only to these places to visit my "friends", but also had decided then that Iwanted to see the world! I wrote a letter to Amy Carter (President Jimmy Carter's daughter) at theWhite House. I wanted to let her know that I, too, loved my cat, and his name was "Sugarfoot". Shedid in fact (or her people did), send a returned postcard with a thank you note. I was thrilled!!! Shedid not sign it herself, but I didn't care. I received a postcard from the WHITE HOUSE!!!!
What this did teach me is that it is appropriate to write a stranger as long as you clearly explainyourself and respect the individual you are encouraging to respond. Later in college, I encouragedmy friends to always write letters in protest or to articulate their dissatisfaction in an issue on campus(as long as you are always respectful and articulate). I sent letters to my Council Member here inNew York City about noise pollution in my neighborhood (he and his staff responded expeditiously)!!!Letters give you a voice! And I discovered that summer that I loved hearing the voices of my parentsand my friends even more! I sat on the front porch or in my grandmothers "front parlor" reading andwriting many of my days! Waiting for the postman! I lived and dreamed through that postbox....BOX 388 on the Game School Road!
So, in honor of it, I invite you to feel at "home" here and communicate with me through BOX 388. Wewill dream, communicate, share, and imagine. Build each other up and develop who we are asindividuals. We can not achieve anything until we know and love ourselves. Find what it is we want tobe. Embrace our need to evolve and welcome our imperfections!
We are in a digital world now, but letters still carry that same important part of communicating andsharing with one another (even on the net). So, in my first letter to "you", and "you" may be mymentees at Washington-Irving High School in New York City, a classmate, a student that reaches outto me from the fine universities in the United States and Europe, or just simply a young personseeking advice in life or business. I invite you to not only talk to me, but with each other. Share yourdifferences, views, culture and experiences for other women, girls, and people like you.
I look forward to meeting you.
Lisa Ellis
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